You want to move on, but the past won’t let go.

You know how hard life can be. You may have had a difficult childhood shaped by parents or caregivers who were volatile, abusive, distant, absent, or just didn’t reliably support and love you in the ways children need. Perhaps you were bullied at school or at home and made to feel weak, ashamed, humiliated, or bad for being different. Maybe you had a difficult relationship, or a series of them, where the person you loved was also hurting you, verbally or emotionally, physically, or sexually.

You may have vivid memories of moments in your life when everything fell apart, when things were happening that were completely out of your control, or you couldn’t escape. Sometimes it feels like these memories and experiences are controlling your life and keeping you from doing what you want and being the person you want to be.

Woman looking out the window in need of ifs therapy for trauma

Trauma and its effects can look and feel different for everyone.

You might not even think of yourself as someone who has necessarily gone through something “traumatic.” But the most harmful and damaging experiences in our lives have a way of teaching us damaging and untrue things about ourselves:

  • “It’s all my fault”
  • “I’m weak”
  • “I am all alone”
  • “I’m defective”
  • “I’m just a burden to everyone”
  • “I’m unlovable”
  • “I can’t trust myself”
  • “When I think I can relax is when I’m most likely to get hurt again”
  • “There is a shameful secret about me that I have to protect at all costs”

These lessons, and many others, can make everything from certain routine daily activities to finding happiness and love in our intimate relationships feel impossible or overwhelming. You might feel like you always have to be on guard, are never able to really relax, and as a result feel anxious and exhausted. You might explode in rage in response to things that “shouldn’t” be that big of a deal, or you might find yourself flooded with feelings of guilt, shame, or sadness when something unexpected cuts right to the heart of where you’ve been hurt despite all your efforts to “get over it” and never feel this way again.

Trauma and its effects can look and feel different for everyone.

You might not even think of yourself as someone who has necessarily gone through something “traumatic.” But the most harmful and damaging experiences in our lives have a way of teaching us damaging and untrue things about ourselves:

  • “It’s all my fault”
  • “I’m weak”
  • “I am all alone”
  • “I’m defective”
  • “I’m just a burden to everyone”
  • “I’m unlovable”
  • “I can’t trust myself”
  • “When I think I can relax is when I’m most likely to get hurt again”
  • “There is a shameful secret about me that I have to protect at all costs”

These lessons, and many others, can make everything from certain routine daily activities to finding happiness and love in our intimate relationships feel impossible or overwhelming. You might feel like you always have to be on guard, are never able to really relax, and as a result feel anxious and exhausted. You might explode in rage in response to things that “shouldn’t” be that big of a deal, or you might find yourself flooded with feelings of guilt, shame, or sadness when something unexpected cuts right to the heart of where you’ve been hurt despite all your efforts to “get over it” and never feel this way again.

SCHEDULE A FREE 20-MINUTE CONSULT

How You’ve Been Hurt Doesn’t Have to Define You Anymore

Man in a field breaking free from trauma with ifs therapy

The most difficult, overwhelming experiences of your life do not have to define who you are. You can begin to see that the harsh and painful lessons you were taught about yourself aren’t actually as true as they feel. You can start to feel more comfortable and confident in yourself, within your body, and in your relationships.

You can know that while you’ve been through things you shouldn’t have had to go through in your life, you are a person deserving of love, respect, and the safety and freedom to be your whole self in the world.

I will accompany you every step of the way using a model of therapy that has brought revolutionary insights to the field of trauma therapy known as IFS.  We will sensitively and compassionately work together to help you not only let go of the negative and fearful thoughts associated with your past, but also release the painful feelings and emotions from your body and your whole being.

Moving at the pace that is right for you, with an abundance of respect for the parts of you who have been deeply hurt in your life, we will nurture those parts with compassionate and supportive care in a process of exploring what is needed for genuine healing. Then we will work to meet those needs and create healing experiences of release and regeneration as we draw on your deep inner resources of self compassion, resilient courage, and creative vitality.

Therapy for trauma can help you…

Better understand and heal from your past

Transform how you see yourself and the world around you

Feel more calm, confident, and in control

Love yourself more and improve your self care

Have the confidence to connect more deeply with people you love

Release the Pain of Your Past. Reconnect with Yourself. Restore Hope for Your Future.

Your Questions Answered

In IFS therapy we look at your experience through the lens of how it has affected the different “parts” of yourself. Traumatic experiences can cause parts of you to feel very painful emotions such as shame, guilt, weakness, humiliation, etc. Other parts may respond with other feelings like anxiety, anger, or an urgent need to never feel that way again. We will unpack the complexity of different responses and support all of the different parts of you in feeling understood and able to have their needs met.

Your initial sessions with me will focus on learning about what is going on and what you are seeking from therapy. Then much of our time together will be spent in a process of exploring and getting to know the different parts of you and your experience including how parts have adopted different roles, how they relate to other parts, and what is needed to help bring greater calm, healing, and inner harmony to your parts.

It is totally ok to be uncertain about whether the word “trauma” fits your experience or not. A broad definition of trauma as it relates to therapy is anything that happened in your past that is continuing to affect you negatively or contributing to ongoing difficulty in your life. For many people, rather than being one major event, trauma can accumulate through a series of experiences that maybe didn’t feel like a big deal at the time, but looking back you can see how it was harmful to you and is continuing to affect you. IFS therapy can be especially helpful in addressing that harm by giving careful attention to what is important about your own unique experiences and helping you better understand your whole story.

As with therapy for any issue, how long treatment lasts varies greatly from person to person depending on their goals and specific circumstances and issues. Therapy, including IFS therapy, can often contribute to feelings of relief and experience of benefits within the first few sessions, while some goals may take months or a year or more to realize. How long you choose to continue therapy is always up to you. Addressing trauma and its effects in therapy can lead to certain emotions or symptoms feeling worse for a time as you face difficult experiences from your past. This is sometimes an important part of the healing process, and the ongoing support of therapy can be vital for the healing process to fully complete.