Are you ready to be done with holding yourself back?

You worry deep down that there is something unacceptable or bad about you, something that makes you different, never good enough, less worthy of belonging, or less important than everyone else.

Other people always seem more capable, confident, sure of themselves, and you wish you could be more like that but it feels impossible. You would like more connection in your life, deeper intimacy, or more courage to put yourself out there at work, in relationships, or just in general, but no matter how much you push yourself something keeps holding you back.

You might find that you:

  • Have a difficult time expressing yourself or sharing your interests with others.
  • Feel like you have to be perfect just to be acceptable.
  • Avoid trying new things because you don’t want to look like you don’t know what you’re doing.
  • Assume that you aren’t that interesting and others won’t care about you or like you
  • Rarely say what’s on your mind because you’re too busy worrying how others might react.
  • Wish you could be more relaxed and comfortable socially, but have no idea how to get there..
IFS Therapy for self-esteem in Ohio

Is self-doubt keeping you from the life you want?

Low self-confidence and esteem have a way of showing up in every area of life. You may feel disconnected, unseen, or unimportant even in your closest, most essential relationships. You might understand that your partner, spouse,  or family and friends love and care about you, but you hold yourself back and don’t say what’s on your mind because you’re afraid they won’t really understand; they may get angry or dispute what you’re saying, or might outright reject it. It might also feel like you’re not actually that interesting or important, and you don’t want to waste their time with your needs.

You might think a lot about changing your job or your whole career in order to follow your dreams, find something more fulfilling and rewarding, or to give you the chance to achieve some of the goals you had when you started. But whenever you think about that you feel held back by the possibility that you might fail or face unexpected setbacks, and then feel stupid for risking what you currently have, so you stay where you are despite the mounting frustration.

You may feel like

  • There is something different about you that sets you apart from everyone else, but not in a good way.

  • You never seem to fit in anywhere as much as you want

  • You work hard to keep your perceived flaws hidden from others

  • It’s so hard to be assertive or set boundaries

  • Your needs are less important than others’

  • Your contributions are less significant than everyone else’s

Through it all, you often feel alone, unimportant, and unable to break free from the self-doubt that undermines you. The risks feel too great. You might tell yourself it’s better to feel alone than to experience rejection, better to just accept you’re not that special than to be reminded of that when you fail, better to stay in the comfort zone than risk losing everything, no matter how confining that zone has gotten.

Is self-doubt keeping you from the life you want?

Low self-confidence and esteem have a way of showing up in every area of life. You may feel disconnected, unseen, or unimportant even in your closest, most essential relationships. You might understand that your partner, spouse,  or family and friends love and care about you, but you hold yourself back and don’t say what’s on your mind because you’re afraid they won’t really understand; they may get angry or dispute what you’re saying, or might outright reject it. It might also feel like you’re not actually that interesting or important, and you don’t want to waste their time with your needs.

You might think a lot about changing your job or your whole career in order to follow your dreams, find something more fulfilling and rewarding, or to give you the chance to achieve some of the goals you had when you started. But whenever you think about that you feel held back by the possibility that you might fail or face unexpected setbacks, and then feel stupid for risking what you currently have, so you stay where you are despite the mounting frustration.

You may feel like

  • There is something different about you that sets you apart from everyone else, but not in a good way.

  • You never seem to fit in anywhere as much as you want

  • You work hard to keep your perceived flaws hidden from others

  • It’s so hard to be assertive or set boundaries

  • Your needs are less important than others’

  • Your contributions are less significant than everyone else’s

Through it all, you often feel alone, unimportant, and unable to break free from the self-doubt that undermines you. The risks feel too great. You might tell yourself it’s better to feel alone than to experience rejection, better to just accept you’re not that special than to be reminded of that when you fail, better to stay in the comfort zone than risk losing everything, no matter how confining that zone has gotten.

SCHEDULE A FREE 20-MINUTE CONSULT

Learn to Love Who You are and Trust Who You Can Become

Man in therapy for self-esteem in Ohio

The truth is that the cycles of self-doubt, blame, and holding yourself back can be broken. You can start to see situations that you’ve been anxious and uncertain about as full of potential for growth. You can feel inspired and hopeful about your dreams and desires instead of intimidated and defeated. And you can open yourself to deeper intimacy and connection in your relationships.

You can do all of this with the confidence that: 

  • You can succeed
  • You deserve the freedom to be yourself and love who you are
  • Setbacks or mistakes are not the end and do not mean you are a failure.

I will help you start to experience these shifts by supporting you in a therapy process designed to help you tap into your inner confidence, resiliency, and wisdom, to go beyond the usual negative self-thoughts and feelings. We will get to know the unique stories behind why those negative beliefs and painful feelings have developed, and compassionately and sensitively help the parts of you who have taken on those beliefs and emotions to feel supported and understood by you. We will help those parts release those burdens of self-doubt, shame, and expected failure.

When this happens, you will find yourself ready to move forward, take the risks that are right for you without feeling pressured, and make the relationship choices that support you in feeling closer and more understood by your loved ones.  You will know yourself as someone worthy of love, deserving of happiness, and capable of living a life filled with both.

Therapy for self-confidence and self-esteem can help you…

Break out of cycles of self-doubt and avoidance

Show up in your life trusting yourself, your capability, and worth

Open yourself to deeper connection in your relationships

Find the freedom to say ‘No’ when you need to and ‘Yes’ when you want to

See yourself and your story not as inherently flawed, but as uniquely yours

Know yourself to be good enough

Love and trust yourself in ways you haven’t felt were possible

See your life from a whole new perspective. Trust yourself. Love who you are.

Your Questions Answered

IFS therapy differs from other types of therapy by focusing on recognizing the internal “parts” that comprise your broader personality and identity. We focus on seeing issues like low self-confidence and self-esteem through the lens of the different parts of you who have learned to think and feel this way in your life. Then we move toward helping those parts feel supported so that they can grow and adopt less restrictive beliefs. IFS therapy in this way is an experiential process that focuses primarily on experiences of healing and emotional growth in sessions. This can feel very different from other therapies that prioritize teaching coping skills or strategies, or on problem solving specific situations as they arise.

In IFS therapy we work to understand your different parts better, and then help those parts heal and release constraining beliefs and emotional burdens. We also focus on helping your parts to be more connected with the internal resources of your deeper “Self” such as self-confidence and self-compassion so that as a whole you can feel more confident and experience greater internal harmony and balance across the whole range of your life experiences.

The length of therapy varies from person to person and depends greatly on a person’s individual needs and specific situations. Many people can begin to experience benefits of therapy within the first few sessions, while some goals may take a longer time to work toward. My goal as your therapist is that you feel supported in making progress at the pace that is right for you.

This can vary widely. Often therapy patients will begin to experience some benefits of therapy within the first several sessions, although this might just be the beginning and most will stay with the process much longer. Sometimes therapy can lead to things feeling worse for a time before they start to improve. But how long you choose to continue in therapy is up to you and depends on the issues and goals you are wanting to work on.

To be most effective, therapy sessions in the beginning of therapy should generally be either once per week or once every other week. Greater frequency is likely to help you experience progress more quickly. It may be appropriate to reduce session frequency after the goals of therapy shift from immediate needs and concerns to focusing on maintaining your progress.

Most sessions will begin with a period of checking in and discussing relevant experiences since the prior session. Then we will identify the part or parts of you we want to focus on based on your goals for therapy, and we will work together using the IFS therapy model to help you experience growth and change. The initial sessions of therapy will be a bit different as I get to know you and your goals and we go through an assessment and planning process together.